Being an Example (for Good or Bad)

A few weeks ago, I was asked to speak at a dear friend’s baby shower. I said yes before really thinking about what that would mean. (If you’ve read my blog before, you know that speaking in front of others is not exactly a gift of mine.) Nonetheless, I made a commitment to share some words of advice. As I thought and prayed about what I would say, God brought to mind some things that He has been teaching me lately. I have been under a lot of stress lately (ok, maybe not a lot, more like a colossal amount of stress). Either way, it’s been eating me up inside, and I haven’t even noticed it. I tend to be one of those people that holds things in until I explode. Kind of like a volcano. The other day, I lost it. I yelled (ok, screamed) at my husband for something so minute, that I don’t even remember what it was. And thankfully, he was gracious enough to show Christ to me by just holding me for awhile and telling me that I’ve just been under a lot of stress lately. I mention this because God has graciously given us marriage as a means of showing us who we really are. He has given us marriage to show us more of our sin, and to allow us to sharpen our spouse. And just as He has given spouses to reveal more of our sin nature, He has also given us children to show us more of our sin nature. The Lord has been showing me more and more of my sin nature through the actions of my daughter. Sometimes she does things for which I look at her in stunned amazement, realizing that she acts the way she does because I act the way I do. And the more I see her mimic me, the more I realize that I need to be living in such a way that is pleasing to the Lord if I expect her to live in such a way. Sometimes it’s so much easier to expect things out of other people that we don’t expect from ourselves. It’s easy, and it’s sin nature to believe that we are the exception to the rule. It’s easy to accept laziness from our own lives, while expecting productivity from another. And yet, as a parent, I have these two little people that look up to me as an example. And what kind of example am I setting? Am I setting an example of Christ in the way I speak? The way I conduct myself? My faith? My love? Am I teaching them through my words, but not through my life? There are so many things to ponder; so many questions to answer and so many things to examine in my life.