All too often I get tired of my job. I get tired of the same thing every day. I get tired of waking up to poop everywhere. I get tired of sweeping Cheerios off the floor yet again. I get tired of watching Tigger, or Nemo, or whatever happens to be the favorite animated character that day. And all too often I find myself ungrateful for the things that I have. I find myself thinking that if I only had a bigger house, or if I only had a child that obeyed, I would be happy. Today, I was really tired of my job. I’ll just admit it, I was cranky. So I opened my Bible up when the kids went to bed, purposefully opening to Hebrews 11. It’s a passage I have read many, many times before, and I was hoping to get encouragement from it. And I did get encouragement, just not from the verses I expected.
“These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country ...” Hebrews 11:13-16a
I realized as I read those verses, that I haven’t been desiring a better country. I haven’t been desiring heaven. I haven’t been desiring God. I get so caught up in myself throughout the day, and the needs and wants that I have. And I was reminded of a truth that I have heard many times before … that my purpose in being a mom is to point those two little ones to a better country. A divine country. A country where God dwells. And that makes me nervous. And excited, but mostly nervous. What they hear about God is most likely coming from me. I am the one they are around all day, every day. And maybe they will hear more from someone else, but what will they see in me? Because I know that if they see me say that I believe in God, and yet I don’t live it, I have failed. So tonight I am thankful. I am thankful that God opened my eyes to this now. And I am thankful that tomorrow is a new day … with a purpose.
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